Stick a Cork in it 'Cuz BP's Done
By Phasma Scriptor
In previous communiques, I proposed a method for ending the engulfing-the-Gulf-in-globs-of-oil crisis by, as suggested here, sticking a cork in it, almost literally. Now, as of 3 weeks of 5000+ barrels/day of crude (a very appropriate and descriptive term for the extra thick goo that's bubbling up) into this environmental blightmare, the BP psychopaths of profit have proven nowhere near to up-to-the-task. The means for them to be UTTT has been available for over 60 years. That they have failed and refused to do so is just another hole in their corporate ship, sinking fast, so to speak, evidence of criminal guilt not mere negligence.
When, in 1992, the Chicago Dredge & Dock oops! cracked open the almost forgotten underground tunnel system that had been coiled 40 feet beneath the feet of Chicago Loop pedestrians for almost 100 years, I was in the LaSalle Street offices of an options brokerage, conferring with my ex-mob "phone specialist", Wally "the Wiretapper" Pritchett, on how the local CBOE traders could "front-run" the options trade, allegedly one area of interest for a DOJ investigation into CBOE and CBOT "irregularities" (you know, fraud). Wally detailed the possible methods of installing a shunt into the lines bringing orders into those exchanges; subsequently, Wally's personal line got cut and Wally went dead.
The Great Chicago Flood started at the North end of the tunnel system. When the breach was discovered, the Loop was ordered evacuated since, it was claimed, the consequences of 60+ miles of tunnels large enough to carry small freight trains getting wet were unknown. Actually, pouring a torrent of water through the foot thick inner concrete lining of the tunnels (with its series of pumps)was never going to endanger the surface structures.
Early in the "crisis", as I learned somewhat later than "Early", a local Navy Seal offered to plug the sizable hole using one of the large, very tough balloons which, according to the source, could be used to keep a Navy ship, like a submarine, from an extended stay with Davy Jones after having a potentially fatal hole installed in its hull. Because of the tendency of water to relentlessly fill in the spaces below a ship's water line (which keeps rising as the ship begins sinking), the balloon must be deployed and, then, inflated (with fluid) ASAP which would, because of its design (see US Patents 2446190 - 8/3/48, 4329132 - 5/11/82, 4385582 - 5/31/83, 5143012 - 9/1/92), fill even an oddly-shaped hole. Perfect solution; the citizens of Chicago would be saved from a fate worse than the sinners without an ark. And, also, a solution flat rejected by City Hall.
While everyone fled the Loop (they really wanted hang around and WORK!), I stuck around and went to the South end of the Loop, avoiding the cops who were supposed to be preventing anyone from falling into voracious sinkholes forming in the streets (yeah, yeah, OK, voracious sinkholes forming in Chicago streets ... as common as ghost-Streets-&-San workers fixing those voracious sinkholes and, yeah, yeah, ditto, avoiding Chicago cops assigned to garbage duty ... un-heroic). The tunnels tilt to the South and at that end is the Board of Trade building and in the basement of the BOT were the record archives, where proof of the crime of fraudulent front-running would have been kept.
That 1st day, the waters hadn't yet gotten that far (the BOT was my territory in another life and I knew how to get past what passed for security). Meanwhile, "da mair" (the mayor, for you non-Chicago natives) awards the contract for successfully concluding the Great Chicago Flood, which didn't include stanching the wound immediately, to Kenny Construction, a construction company with mairly clout.
Kenny's bright idea was to pour concrete and other stuff into a hole that was sucking the bejesus out of one corner of Lake Michigan. Of course, if the intention was NOT to make it stop, that really was a brilliant idea. After many hours of purposeful futility, the tunnels did what they were designed to do - carry the freight around the underground - all the way to the basement of the BOT. A 2nd quick inspection confirmed the inevitable. Maybe those records weren't destroyed completely, but the plausible deniability that they were gave plausible reliability to the theory that the DOJ investigation got washed out because of the unseen effects of the Great Chicago Flood.
Click on NEXT until we get to April 20, 2010. BP's leased oil rig blows up, falls over, workers die, the pipe jammed into the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico loses the apparatus that siphons off the crude in an orderly fashion at a rate of 5000+ barrels/day. In other words, there's a large underwater hole that needs to be plugged. Hmm. Same joke, different punchline.
Shortly after the reports of the Great Gulf Oil Spill of 2010 hit the media outlets, I began to suggest the same solution, to various media types and save-the-environment lobbyists, some helpful Navy Seal offered to implement in 1992 in Chicago. No rejection, just crickets.
Meanwhile, BP announces its bright idea to fabricate a dome that will collect the bubbling crude (OMG! I just had the urge to sing a chorus of the Beverly Hillbillies theme song. Somebody, please stop me!). Of course, that's the bright idea that will allow the crude to continue to flow into BP's profit stream and flip an oil-soaked bird at the damnable ecological disaster that grows in dimension every minute that the leak isn't contained by a more stop-the-leak-and-damn-the-
Click NEXT to 5/10. CNBC reports that, the dome having flopped, BP was going to Plan, uh, well, not exactly B, actually, more like Y or Z, since all other plans didn't take into account that last-ditch option of having potential losses that could have the same effect on BP that the caramel-consistency goo had on some hapless turtles, subbing for the canaries in the coal mine. The smart-ass BP CEO should probably think worst case when some judge (even in Big Oil IS God country), realizing he could become a certifiable public enemy if he lets this highly-paid Limey get off easy, makes him do clean up duty for the next century.
Plan Y? As of 5/10, BP is considering "junk shots", meaning, "plugging (the) leak with debris ... (by) injecting debris including shredded rubber into the well as a stopper ... followed by cement to seal the leak." That's called incrementally creeping to what? Plan Z. A balloon, utilizing the best of the designs already sitting in the US Patent Office, inserted into the gushing hole in the floor of the Gulf; the cement they propose to deploy in the aptly named "junk shot" would instead be slathered on the balloon. Otherwise, they're just doing the Kenny Kaper - pour any old s**t down the hole with no chance of stanching the flow while they figure out how to implement one of those more corporate-profit-friendly plans B through X.